You try and balance against the wall but it’s crumbling so that makes it far too hard and you think about giving up but then he’s in the back of your mind, screaming, about holding it a little long

So you do

But you topple eventually, wilting into the ground and laughing because your face is just so redredred and he’s smiling at you like he used to and things don’t feel so empty anymore

You barely notice the bruises on you knees

He does and he kisses them,

One by one

By one

By one

And it feels so nice that you never want him to stop because this is keeping you happy. All of this kissing of knees and singing silly songs and just being and when he stands up you’re slightly dizzy from the wave of happiness that rolls off of you

Because you haven’t been happy like that in so long and it’s nice.

You try a handstand later; up against a different wall and this time when you fall, he doesn’t reach you fast enough and the bruises last a little longer and the scrapes cut a little deeper and you wonder slightly if you’ll permanently be black and blue

It wouldn't be a surprise at this rate

Is it really worth all the falling if it’s the only thing that keeps him around?

He comes by after, a few days later and the strawberries he used to freeze and press against your skin--staining them delicious shades of red--have been reduced to a pulpy mess and at first you’re confused because it looks so much like your heart in his hand and that just makes your breathing stop

He taps you when you start turning purple

You want to kiss him, pull him into you and live like some kind of fairytale where everything turns out quite alright,  but he says you’re too old to believe in things like that. So you go back to humming quietly and standing on your hands.

Because the world is better seen

Upside down

He used to taste like hot July and summer months where you could just melt into a colorful puddle on the ground. But now he tastes like bitter snow and ice and that’s not nearly as pleasant as before, so you stop tasting him. You stop sticking out your tongue to catch him as he floats on by

It’s the hardest thing you’ve ever trained yourself to do

Sometimes you slip up and crack, like the sidewalk, with all the people walking over it,

day after day

after day,

it’s hard to avoid the rough patches.

You tend to like the rough patches the most but you wont ever say that because it means he was right

And when he’s right, you usually end up getting hurt

Besides, those bruises are just now starting to fade and its been weeks

Months

Years

Decades

Ages

Forever

Or something like that

You don’t count much anymore; there’s no real need, no real rush. Everything is good and slow and just right there and if you squint hard enough

He is too
 

 

Note: Lyrics (in italics) and the song belong to Chairlift, you may know it from that catchy little new iPod commercial?